Expert Q&A

My daughter, who’s now 8, has been sucking her fingers since birth. My husband doesn’t want to use the appliance the orthodontist suggested. I ignored it for a while, but now it’s affecting the shape of her mouth and teeth. Please help!

I’m wondering why your husband is opposing the advice of the experts you have chosen to support your daughter’s health. The power struggle between you seems to have obscured the focus on her well-being.

Your daughter’s sucking may reflect feelings of insecurity about her parents’ lack of clear direction and may even be perpetuated by the conflict. Her unwillingness to give it up reflects emotional distress of some kind and undermines her self-esteem with her peers -- in addition to damaging her oral health.

You and your husband should agree upon professionals you trust and follow their advice, regardless of whose “side” they’re on. Then consider some counseling to resolve your parenting differences and to address the causes of your daughter’s distress.

Dr. Patti Zomber is a child psychologist based in Marina del Rey, Calif. She has written numerous articles about parenting, and she is a contributing editor on NestleFamily.com as well as the editor of the Los Angeles Psychologist journal. 

Please Note: This Expert Q&A feature is intended to impart general child development information and mealtime tips. It’s not meant to take place of medical consultation; consult your doctor for medical advice or services.

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