Expert Q&A

I’m pregnant and my first child will have just turned 6 when the baby is born. How can I make the transition as smooth as possible when I bring home the new baby?

This topic is one of my favorite opportunities for laughing at myself. My first mistake was asking my older two children to meet our new baby at the hospital. Not only did they not want to go, they begged their father either to send back the baby or to leave us both at the hospital. Right away, I learned the value of letting the older siblings have their own feelings rather than forcing mine upon them. It was either that or knowing that they would act out in ways I'd rather not imagine. After all, what was in it for them? They now had to share a room, as well as the time and attention of their tired and cranky parents.

My challenge was to convince them that while having a new sister was non-negotiable, they could have some adventure along the way. They arranged and decorated their new room in an outlandish manner, complete with “BABY KEEP OUT” signs and booby traps, since baby couldn't read. Their father logged in overtime on surprise excursions that Mom would never have approved of and that Baby would never enjoy. They acquired extra paid jobs around the house. They got special individual time with both of us, and we still managed to keep up with their busy lives. Luckily, their sister was irresistible and won them over in no time.

Dr. Patti Zomber is a child psychologist based in Marina del Rey, Calif. She has written numerous articles about parenting, and she is a contributing editor on NestleFamily.com as well as the editor of the Los Angeles Psychologist journal.

Please Note: This Expert Q&A feature is intended to impart general child development information and mealtime tips. This is not to take the place of medical consultation and you should consult your doctor for medical advice or services.

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