Expert Q&A

For the last month, my 6-year-old daughter has been very “fresh” with her father and me. Whenever we ask her to do something that’s within reason, she tells us no, and if we fight back she runs away crying. We just want her to learn a little bit of responsibility. Are we expecting too much from her? What can we do?

It doesn’t sound like you are expecting too much from your daughter. Ask her where she got the idea that she doesn’t have to do what she is told. Is she copying her peers at school? An older sibling perhaps? Then, turn the attention on you and her other caregivers. Are you not “serious” enough in following through on consequences consistently? Are the adults in her life not consistent with one another?

Let her scream and cry until she realizes that this behavior is not effective in getting rid of the task at hand. Also, don’t let her move on to TV, treats or any fun activity until the job is done. She’s at the age where she is ready to learn the give and take of family members helping one another.

Dr. Patti Zomber is a child psychologist based in Marina del Rey, Calif. She has written numerous articles about parenting, and she is a contributing editor on NestleFamily.com as well as the editor of the Los Angeles Psychologist journal.

Please Note: This Expert Q&A feature is intended to impart general child development information and mealtime tips. This is not to take the place of medical consultation and you should consult your doctor for medical advice or services.

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